**All of my alone time has led to a lot of thinking time. And since my blog is my way of keeping track of the thoughts I'd like to remember, you can expect to see a lot more random posts like this in the future.**
A few things lately have caused me to think about all the years I spent in art classes trying to discover my creativity and originality.
I have a love/hate relationship with art.
I love the process of making something beautiful that didn't exist before. I love colors and paint. I love the feel of a brush in my hand. I love examining the way lighting changes everything about the appearance of an object or landscape. I love the way I can get lost in a piece of art.
And yet I hate that I never seem to be able to capture that like I want. I hate that as much as I love painting, I'm not very artistic. I hate that I never seem to be able to come up with original ideas of what to create. I hate that I'm such a perfectionist that I would spend countless hours trying to perfect even the smallest details of a piece so it would look exactly like the image I was trying to capture.
Art was SO much a part of my life growing up. My sister had band and teaching, my brothers had sports, cars, and construction. I had art. And yet, since I graduated high school I've done very little of it. I didn't have the confidence to take any art classes in college, especially since I so vividly remembered the self-induced stress to get something perfect. I remember more than a few all-nighters and lots of tired tears shed over various assignments.
Don't get me wrong, some of the pieces I created I really do love. I have a few of them framed, and I've even given a few as gifts.
None of them demonstrate an extraordinary talent... because I don't really have that. Most of these have been buried away in a portfolio for the last 8-11 years, because I was under the mistaken impression that only my 'best' work was worth sharing. But that really is an unfortunate way for me to regard all the years of hard work I put into developing even this mediocre talent. So here's to embracing the talents I have, and the opportunity to further develop them!
But I've been able to overcome a lot of my perfectionism. Not all of it. But enough that I wonder what it would be like for me to pick up a paintbrush again. Would I still be obsessed with my creative weaknesses?
Well, I don't really know the answer to that. But I suppose there is only one way to find out... So I need a project with a purpose. My most successful pieces were those that I was able to pour my heart and soul into. Those were the pieces which I honestly felt inspired and guided through.
I actually don't have pictures of most of those pieces, even though they were the pieces that encouraged me to endure all the other projects.
|I've drawn a lot of still-lives in my time, but this might be my favorite. Perhaps not the best, but one of the more interesting visuals in my opinion. I thought that basket would be the end of me, but I survived.|
|Watercolor paint + dancing in the rain = the way creating art should feel!|
Seriously it's SO FUN! TRY IT!!!
This drawing is far from perfect. But I felt my limited artistic abilities magnified tenfold while I worked on this. I specifically prayed that the Lord would guide my hand, and I know that He did. I still love to look at this piece because I am reminded every time of how much the Lord can magnify my meager talents, as well as how much He loves to answer even my most trivial of prayers, such as wanting to create something beautiful to represent my love for Nauvoo.
God is an infinitely creative being, and as His daughter, I've inherited some of that creativity. And while I've spent the last 9 years pursuing other avenues of creativity--namely music, writing, floral design, photography, and various crafts--I feel it might be time to at least TRY to draw or paint again.
"The more you rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity will be to create."
-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
This is one of my favorite Mormon Messages, and while I know I've posted it before
it so perfectly goes along with this rambling of mine.
So I've determined that I will somehow include a goal to further develop my creativity as part of my Sabbatical Year... starting with an art project.