10 November 2016

Does the Journey Seem Long?

It's been a long time since I've had a home base that felt like home. 

This year alone I've been to 17 states ('lived' in 4 of them) and 6 countries (lived in 2), with 4 more to go before I return 'home'--i.e. the place where all of my other clothes live. 

My family and friends (and most people I meet) think my life is glamorous. Perhaps they imagine me merely floating from place to place, much like a Mary Poppins, leaving a place once I've fulfilled my purpose in being there. But I assure you there is very little glamour in living out of a carry-on sized suitcase for 6 months straight. Or of spending countless hours on various modes of transport. Or of constantly being unemployed, unattached, untethered--always a stranger answering the same set of questions dozens of times a day. And certainly not in working 50+hrs a week in exchange for room and board because one has nowhere else to go.

Don't get me wrong. I don't regret any of it, or wish any of it away (except the mooching off of loved ones--I always hate that). It is a life I get to create, full of random events, unique opportunities, and adventures in gorgeous new places. 

But when I look around me and see so many I love moving forward in life, it's hard not to feel that despite my constant moving, I've actually just been spinning my wheels without budging an inch. 

And while I've always tried hard to live my own life without comparison, this idea has been a difficult one to shake off lately. I don't know what it means, just how it feels. And it's starting to feel like a very long journey indeed; perhaps because the end destination is as yet unknown.