01 June 2019

Lessons I’ve Learned while Practicing Anti-Racism



I have seriously debated writing/saying anything about this topic so dear to my heart, because I feel that my voice as a white American woman could possibly distract others from learning from and hearing voices of BIPOC men and women who are engaged in this work around the world. They are the experts and the teachers who I have learned SO much from over the past 4 years, and the last thing I want to do is frame this in such a way that I appear like the expert. I would rather amplify their voices and mute my own, because that is how I learn and practice any of this. However, I have realized that many of my dear family and friends, how ever much I love them, are never going to visit any of the resources I share or take time listening to a person of color about their personal and institutional experiences of racism. But perhaps they will read something written by me. And so I write.

In no particular order, here are a few honest lessons I have learned along my own journey of unlearning and learning: (for simplicity in writing, 'we'=white people)

1. Racism is a spectrum, not an either/or, but regardless of where we fall on the spectrum we ARE racist. It is impossible for us not to be, thanks to the society we were raised in. However, if we don't like where we find ourselves along the spectrum, it is up to US to change ourselves.

2. No one else can do the work for you to ‘become anti-racist’ but you.

3. "Anti-racism is a practiceAnti-racism is not a destination, an identity, a label, or a certification. It is a practice. And like every powerful practice that is intended to create irreversible change, it is life-long." - Layla Saad

4. Rhetoric matters. Saying things like we want to “fight [Black people’s] fights” is not helpful. It perpetuates the false idea that it’s the job of the oppressed to restructure the racist framework of our country. 400 years of history proves they do not (nor will they ever, so long as things stay as they are) have the power to reframe our country’s systems and institutions in a way to root out racism on their own behalf. White people wove systemic and systematic racism through the very fibers of our foundation, and it is up to white people to dismantle it. We are the only ones with the power and privilege to change these systems,  because that’s how we created them to be. These ARE NOT ‘THEIR’ FIGHTS. They ARE OURS.

5. Having BIPOC friends, loving BIPOC persons, and mentioning them in conversations about race is not helpful, or even relevant. We do this to try to distance ourselves from being seen as racist, because we want to be seen as (and be) a good person. But loving or being related to someone with a different race from your own does not mean you are not racist or that you aren't capable of perpetuating harmful ideas and stereotypes based in white supremacy. Using the BIPOC individuals we might know and love as tokens in conversation (however unconsciously) does a huge disservice to those individuals and cheapens the relationships we have with them. It is hurtful. It's also on the spectrum of racism under 'justification.' STOP IT.

6. Scriptures and words of peace and love have their place, but in this work they are most often used as fake platitudes and a way to retreat back into complacency (see 'Woke Justification' on the racism scale). Don’t do it. God does not justify injustice, hate, racism, etc. despite the fact that we live in a fallen world. He has commanded us to be anxiously engaged in good causes, and He asks us to covenant to mourn with and comfort those who need it. He has commanded us to love everyone, not just those who look or think or act like us. And love isn’t just words, it’s action. For as much as Jesus taught in words, He spent even more time teaching in deeds. Love looks like dismantling racism in our hearts, our homes, our communities, and our governments AND THEN rebuilding equal and equitable systems in their place.

7. The goal is not, “I don’t see color.” The goal is, “I see your colour and I honour you as your whole person.”

8. Here are some terms/phrases for you to learn as you begin your journey. Google them, study them:
    • Gaslighting
    • White centering
    • Systemic racism
    • Implicit bias
    • White privilege
    • White fragility
    • Tone policing
    • White saviourism
9. If you decide to start this journey of unlearning and learning for yourself, you need to seek out a variety of BIPOC voices to gather different perspectives on these topics. Just like white people have a rich variety of opinions, attitudes and experiences on everything in life, so do people of color. And even when people are teaching basically the same ideas, sometimes one person might express herself in a way that you connect with better than another. The rich variety of voices who are providing resources and insight on these topics is beautiful and you should seek out many. 

10. When you do decide to follow an educator on social media, or engage with them in any other way, I beg you to just watch and learn. For AWHILE. Resist the urge to comment or question what or how something is being taught. Because you will quickly realize that by biting your tongue (or sitting on your hands as it were) and sitting in your discomfort without immediately putting up your defenses, you will help yourself learn and practice the very skills you are after even quicker. You will also refrain yourself from unwittingly causing harm and perpetuating white supremacy in the very ways that you're supposed to be unlearning, such as gaslighting, white centering, tone policing, or white fragility. Here's an example of this from an educator, Rachel Cargle, who I have learned a lot from @thegreatunlearn. Here's another example thread from a fabulous artist I follow, @florafamiliar.

There are undoubtedly many more lessons I have learned over the years that I've been working to educate myself and become anti-racist in thought, word, and deed. But these are the ones that come to mind to share first. As always, I am happy to engage with and address sincere questions and concerns as best I can, but expect me to point you in the direction of the real experts.

If you follow me on IG, I am constantly sharing posts, educators, and resources in my stories. I have pinned some of them to my profile in the highlights section so you can access them as needed. 

30 April 2017

Back in the saddle. Again.

It is nearly impossible for me to go to Europe and only visit one country. Besides, why visit one when you can visit three?

This habit has led to me taking not one, but three European road trips in the last year: my European Extravaganza (6 countries in 6 weeks) with my mom and stepdad before moving back to the states, BeNeLux with my mom and a couple friends, and Bulgaria & Romania with my bezzy.

I have yet to share anything about the latter trip, not to mention my adventures living in the Scottish Highlands in between. I've found it difficult to write anything that didn't either feel like  "Hey look at how great my life is!" or "Woe is me! What am I doing with my life?" by the end. And I haven't been able to post anything I've written because honestly neither is a very accurate portrayal of what my life has been like this past year.

It has been a year of feeling completely lost, found, and lost again. And honestly, I'm still a little confused as to which part of this cycle I'm in at present

There have been beautiful moments throughout the year, like working in the temple last spring; having a sibling reunion and visiting where my dad grew up on the 9th anniversary of his passing; watching the hearts and minds of some incredible youth grow and change (and knowing that I played a tiny part in their growth); reading the Book of Mormon to the kids I was looking after and watching them get into it; a heart to heart with my bezzy in a beautiful cathedral; a much needed heart to heart with my dad at his grave; an overwhelmingly joyous reunion with some of the amazing youth I worked with last summer; hilarious FaceTimes with my niece; and most recently, watching my honorary little sister get married to a wonderful man who adores her.

But as everyone experiences from time to time, I've had my share of ugly moments when I've become overwhelmed by discouragement, shame, and despair. These moments typically follow a session of comparing where I am with where I want to or think I should be in my life. Or not uncommonly, having other people point out the differences to me. As if I am unaware of my homeless, jobless, husbandless state. Hint: I'm perfectly aware, thanks.

That said, one of my goals for 2017 has been to focus more on finding joy in the journey rather than the reaching of some yet to be determined destination. And I can honestly say at the end of month 4, this really has made a huge difference in my ability to recognize and receive joy in the variety of experiences I've already had this year.

10 November 2016

Does the Journey Seem Long?

It's been a long time since I've had a home base that felt like home. 

This year alone I've been to 17 states ('lived' in 4 of them) and 6 countries (lived in 2), with 4 more to go before I return 'home'--i.e. the place where all of my other clothes live. 

My family and friends (and most people I meet) think my life is glamorous. Perhaps they imagine me merely floating from place to place, much like a Mary Poppins, leaving a place once I've fulfilled my purpose in being there. But I assure you there is very little glamour in living out of a carry-on sized suitcase for 6 months straight. Or of spending countless hours on various modes of transport. Or of constantly being unemployed, unattached, untethered--always a stranger answering the same set of questions dozens of times a day. And certainly not in working 50+hrs a week in exchange for room and board because one has nowhere else to go.

Don't get me wrong. I don't regret any of it, or wish any of it away (except the mooching off of loved ones--I always hate that). It is a life I get to create, full of random events, unique opportunities, and adventures in gorgeous new places. 

But when I look around me and see so many I love moving forward in life, it's hard not to feel that despite my constant moving, I've actually just been spinning my wheels without budging an inch. 

And while I've always tried hard to live my own life without comparison, this idea has been a difficult one to shake off lately. I don't know what it means, just how it feels. And it's starting to feel like a very long journey indeed; perhaps because the end destination is as yet unknown.

10 September 2016

Belgium and Luxembourg (Pictures only)

Ghent





 




Bruges


 

 








Den Haan




Luxembourg City, Luxembourg



Chateau de Vignée



Dinant








Durbuy




 


 


Chateau de Spontin 
Awagne