22 December 2012

Starvation and Schooling are NOT Mutually Exclusive

One can only be rejected from jobs she doesn't even want for so long before she turns to another option. Sometimes Heavenly Father's means aren't very subtle. When He closes a door He opens a window. But I've found that sometimes He likes to block all windows for a good long time til you're sweating like a pig and out of desperation start to look for loose bricks in the *walls*... I'm pretty sure He would have starved me out of any and all jobs (the threat of starvation is far more plausible in my current situation) until I came to this conclusion. The only viable option I've really come up with over the last 7 months. Take out a loan for thousands of dollars and go to graduate school. In the UK. Entirely Logical. I'm applying to the University of Manchester for the MA in Humanitarianism and Conflict Response, as well as to the University of Birmingham for the MSc in International Development--Conflict, Security, and Development pathway. My applications will be submitted by the end of January. I'm STOKED!!!!! So I'm hoping that His means to what I think was that end will hopefully actually come to an end soon. However, I also acknowledge that taking out a loan for thousands of dollars will actually probably mean the threat of starvation will continue to loom.
*Speaking of walls, I was reminded of one of my favorite scripture passages, found in the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 21:14-16 (which is Nephi quoting Isaiah): "But behold, Zion (read Dana) hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me--but he will show that he hath not. For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should ot have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel (read Dana). Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."*
So, just as quickly as I can succumb to that sweaty, panicky feeling of having NO idea what I'm doing with my life, the Spirit whispers peace to my mind and my heart and I KNOW that no matter what ACTUALLY happens, I will be just fine. Even better than fine. As long as I keep my sacred covenants. And even more so now than as a missionary, I have come to understand the incredible power, peace, and freedom that comes from keeping your covenants, and from keeping them sacred.

1 comment:

  1. I wish you well with your new endeavor! It sounds like a great plan!!! I love you!