Family History... I'm doing it!

I was out of Primary before that song became a part of the repertoire, but I had a companion who would always sing it. Of course, that's the only line I remember... but at least it's the most important one!

While I was working on some family history research a couple weeks ago, I felt impressed to google the town where this particular family was from (Wirksworth, Derbyshire, England) and learn more about the area. When I did so, a website came up that mentioned parish records, so I clicked on it. And lo and BEHOLD! Parish records manna from heaven!

I learned that the Wirksworth Parish records were so complete that a particular project had been undertaken to make them ALL available online, organized in various ways, from the 17th-20th centuries. It was the Genealogy Jackpot! With help from these records, I've been able to add about 3-4 complete generations on multiple family lines, adding more than 150 names to my family tree, and finding more than 100 names for the Temple!

I was so engrossed, enthralled, elated, exhilarated that I almost pulled an all-nighter that first night I found this website. My eyes started to blur as I'd been staring at the screen for HOURS, so I looked at the clock to determine if I should go to bed... it read 4:30AM. Yep. I should DEFINITELY go to bed! haha So I reluctantly finished up the name I was working on and called it quits. But I've now been back to the website several times to continue the work and it's incredible how much information I'm still finding! Of course there are still some temporary dead-ends with missing information, as there will always be. But I have found SO MANY ancestors in such a short amount of time! And with relatively little effort. I can't even describe the high I get from finding my ancestors. I wrote once before that I'd been swallowed whole by the Spirit of Elijah, and that same feeling has returned. What is even more exciting is that Wirksworth is only about 60 miles from where I'll be living for the next year... plenty close for me to visit and do some more in-depth research! What great fortune!!!

Preparations

So I am on about round 3 of packing... I knew it wouldn't be easy to cut everything down to 50 lbs, but  let's just say I'm glad I started early. I got to the point where I decided I'd give in and take a second suitcase. Then I looked up the checked baggage allotments for my flight. Well, my ticket says AirFrance, operated by Delta. And they both have different allowances for international flights. And different allowances in between the US and Europe and within Europe. So depending on which rules they decide to enforce for my ticket I could be paying up to $100 for a second bag. I know everything I take is supposed to keep me for a year+, so $100 shouldn't seem out of the question. But I'm cheap. And more importantly, poor. So alas, I'm back to just 50lbs. However I have grudgingly added a carry-on suitcase, which I really had hoped to avoid... but it seems to be the best compromise of all my options... a little more weight and free.

Other than that I'm checking more things off my list everyday. I've gotten rid of two boxes of clothes, removed all the plants from the yard that died in the freeze, deep cleaned about half the house, took family photos, gave in and finally bought a new computer that doesn't crash every 20 min, and have found about 100+ more names for the temple... which I'll probably post about later. I've also been reading like a fiend, going to the library at least twice a week to refresh my supply. And I still have a long to-do list for my internship with WVN. But being so busy has been a great blessing! I don't even have time to think or worry about the reality of what moving to a foreign country will actually be like, let alone going back to school. Good thing, too, or I might psyche myself out! God continues in His goodness and mercies, and I'm grateful He's in all the details of my life!

It's real!

My passport arrived today with my UK Entry Clearance Visa... so I just bought my ticket. It's real! I'm REALLY going to the UK!!

And I may or may not be flying on September 11... 

Progress

Since that miraculous day, many other tender mercies have continued to appear in my life. Since I've mostly been wearing all of my mother's clothes since I got home from my mission, I knew I would have to acquire a few articles of my own in order to leave her closet behind. I've found truly incredible deals. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say my sister now refuses to shop without me, because my "luck" has been so outrageous. haha

And just this morning I received an email saying that my UK Student Visa has been issued. This was the last puzzle piece to fall into place to make it all irrevocably official. I can now buy my plane ticket and start the rigorous process of packing, which will inevitably involve at least 2 re-packs. 

Has the day of miracles ceased?

"Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought..." -Moroni 7:35, 37

But Behold, I will show unto you a God of miracles, even the God of Abraham... and it is that same God who created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are.
Behold, are not the things that God hath wrought marvelous in our eyes? Yea, and who can comprehend the marvelous works of God?
And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.
-Mormon 9:11, 16, 19

The Book of Mormon prophets always seem to articulate my feelings and testimony so much better than I can. It seemed a fitting introduction and testament for the events I'm about to relate.

A couple weeks ago, the heavens opened up their windows and started pouring out blessings upon me... all on the same day. 

After much fasting, prayer, and temple attendance this summer, I received an email telling me I'd been awarded the University of Birmingham-Santander Postgraduate Scholarship. Miracle! Now my tuition fees are about the same cost as my semester in Jerusalem, which seems entirely manageable in the way of debt.

That same morning I also received all of the information and paperwork necessary to finalize my housing arrangements. This housing literally fell into my lap... working out better than I ever could have done if I had tried to do it myself. Miracle!

There was also an email telling me that my student loan had been approved, which was the crucial step to making all this happen. And since I'm an international, postgraduate student without a cosigner, there was only ONE option for a student loan... so if it hadn't been approved, everything else would've been for naught. Miracle!

I also received a response from a job application I had submitted earlier in the summer, and I had an interview that afternoon. The job was with a house cleaning company. When I told her I'd received a scholarship and a loan and so would definitely be leaving for school in September, she decided she could only hire me as "on-call" for big deep cleans or other one-time jobs, but still that's a potential for earning money that I otherwise would not have had. It might help pay for an eye exam, or dental appointment, both of which I really need but cannot afford. So, miracle!

I am not sure why that all of these blessings were delivered at the same time, but it was an incredible, miraculous display of God's love for me, and His power to truly do all He can to bless me. And it was just one more stamp of approval and reassurance that going to England is definitely what God wants me to do.

#stuporofthought

Have you ever watched a friend struggle with a decision when you can see the bigger picture and therefore the obvious decision, but they aren't ready to hear it?

Well today, that friend sought out my advice and I was finally able to share my perspective. Not gonna lie, it felt REALLY good to get it off my chest. And in the process, she was able to realize that it's the answer she's known all along, but didn't like... so was basically just buying time hoping that the answer would change. It hasn't.

The whole experience has reminded me about how we each receive personal revelation differently, and in the manner which will be most beneficial to us. I think the reason that I was able to recognize an obvious decision in my friend's dilemma is because it was being given to her in a manner which I often receive my own revelation: stupor of thought.

I remember the first time I received an answer to a prayer with a stupor of thought... I was 15 and a newly called MiaMaid class president. I was praying about who to call as my presidency, and one of the names I took the Lord that I'd felt confident about beforehand, I couldn't even remember who I was praying about by the time the prayer ended. And I was really confused because I had a REALLY good memory... and the Spirit opened my mind to understand that it was a stupor of thought.

Since then I've had several more experiences, that were all a lot more muddled and soul-wracking, and it's taken me A LOT longer to recognize my inability to make a decision as a stupor of thought and therefore an answer from the Lord. I had an experience with this a few months ago, and my mom gently reminded me that I often receive revelation via stupor of thought. I was 1) floored that my mother had been in tune enough to recognize that about me when I had a hard time recognizing and remembering that about myself... and it's MY personal revelation! And 2) grateful that she was able to remind me of this. It was just the re-calibration that my soul needed in order to make the decision.

So all of that made it glaringly obvious to me that my dear friend wasn't suffering from anything more than an answer to her many prayers, but an answer she wouldn't recognize because she wasn't ready to follow through with the consequences of said answer. Well, she must've finally prepared herself to act on her personal revelation, because the clouds finally parted and she was able to see the decision more clearly. Of course she still didn't like it, because it will be hard and painful, but she's finally ready to offer up her will in faith that Heavenly Father WILL fulfill ALL His promises to her in some other way.

We've all been there, multiple times. And yet, each new decision and faith-filled action that offers up our hearts to God, piece by painful piece, normally doesn't get easier with more practice. However, I think this is the very condition that Christ referred to when He said, "And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit." (3 Nephi 9:20) But of course God never gives us a commandment without also including a promise, just as Christ does in the next sentence: "And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost...." Just as with my friend, the condition of her heart was a pre-requisite for the promised blessing of having the Holy Ghost part the clouds of indecision and enlighten her mind with understanding of the revelation she'd already received.

I'm proud of her, but I know that Heavenly Father is even more so. Only He can truly understand how hard this decision is for her to make and follow through with. Only He can know the pain she will feel and endure because of it. And Only He knows how His promises will be fulfilled. It's weird, but this whole experience, though watching it all from a distance, has taught me a lot... especially about Heavenly Father and my personal relationship with Him. I see those same fears and struggles in my own life as in my friend's... it just comes in different forms. But ultimately we each have to choose to give up our will for the Will of the Father and to trust in His eternal promises, even if it means giving up what we want right now. So now that I've had all these lessons and eternal truths reinforced in my life, I feel like Heavenly Father is going to put me to the test again. I'm not-so-secretly hoping He chooses to start small and work His way up to the really big doozies.

Sorry for rambling. But, in all fairness, it IS my blog.

Delightful Denver

My sister-in-law, Liz, just concluded her experience as a surrogate after delivering twins via cesarian a couple weeks ago. While I have much I could say in praise of her and her selfless actions (which I am convinced I couldn't do), this post centers around the REAL reason why I was called to Denver to help out over the last couple weeks: Lillian.

For anyone who knows Logan, it should not be too hard to imagine his daughter, Lilly. She IS DEFINITELY a Daddy's girl in EVERY sense. She looks like Logan's face was put on a black girl, expressions and all. She never stops moving. And despite not being quite able to say real words just yet, she never stops talking. We always warned Logan that karma would come to him via his children. And so it has! haha But in the best possible way. She is as sweet as she is feisty, and boy can she be feisty!

For anyone who knows me, you'll know that for having spent a total of one week with her over the 19 previous months of her life, I have been completely enchanted by my niece. She was born while I was on my mission, and I'd only been able to see her twice since I returned. So Tia Dana was more than happy to answer the call to care for Lilly for a couple weeks while Liz was in the hospital.

We had a blast! Seriously! I think one of my favorite moments was our dance party we had one night, just rocking out and giggling throughout the house. She would spin and spin and spin until she fell down from dizziness, and then ask me to pick her up and spin while she "recovered." It was in that moment, only two days in to my trip, that I knew Lilly and I would be great friends, not just distant family members that you love but don't really know. My heart melted and I was instantly hers. No matter the diapers, the tantrums, the meltdowns, the messes. I knew I wanted to be a part of it ALL, just so that I could be a part of her life forever. And I hope I am.

I imagine that's much how it feels to be a parent. Only with a lot less sleep and a lot more worries.

There are just no words to express how much I love this little girl. But maybe a few pictures will help supplement the language barrier.

And just so Liz and Logan don't feel left out, I thought I'd include a few shots of them from when we took pictures at the temple. Lilly so rudely decided that our planned photo shoot would be the ideal nap time. Figures.

Needless to say, it was a delightful two weeks with lots of bonding, among other things. And I miss that little munchkin (though she's not so little, measuring past my hips at only 20 months old) every minute. I especially miss her baby kisses, despite them becoming more open-mouthed each time. haha  Hasta Septiembre chiquita. Tu tia te quiere mija!!

Count Your Blessings Instead of...

Coins. Lots and LOTS of COINS.

I spent most of May in Provo working on a project for my uncle... inventorying my grandmother's coin collection. It was terrifyingly tedious at times, and at others it was a curiously captivating course down memory lane.

My grandmother lived with my family for about 9 years while I was growing up, so I have a plethora of memories of us kids dumping out our piggy banks and scouring our coins (mostly pennies, of course) for the right mint or year of whatever Grandma was looking for. Then we'd help her organize them, count them, etc. I'd never seen the entire extent of her collection though--one she'd been acquiring coin by coin since she was a young girl. And it never occurred to me how her collection really became a family collection over the years, including evidence of all the places her children and grandchildren traveled over the years. She kept meticulous notes, and it wasn't uncommon to see "given to me by________" next to the currency. She also acquired sets for important years in the family, such as births, marriages, deaths, etc. Each of her grandchildren have coin sets from his or her birth year. I realized this was her way of honoring each of us, while simultaneously doing something she loved.

I think of my grandmother quite frequently actually, but this project provided a unique opportunity to delve into one of her passions. Subsequently, I learned a lot about her, and A LOT about coins.

So is it weird that despite my nomadic mantra of "Simplify!" and my determination to only ever take one bag with me when I travel no matter how long the duration--I did just live out of a carry-on sized suitcase for 2.5 months--that I find myself secretly desiring to continue her coin collection with my own? I'm not sure I can permit myself to start collecting anything, let alone MONEY when I'm currently so POOR... but as I'm soon to begin my world travels again, it's definitely something that I will consider. Especially since it would be a great way to honor my grandmother... and continuing her coin collection seems more reasonable than continuing her thimble, spoon, or bell collections...

Blessings in Brigham City

For the last several years I've been wanting to go to Brigham City to do some family history explorations. My great-great grandfather, Thomas Henry Bark Blackburn Sr., was mayor there from about 1908-1912, and he raised his family there. I knew there was a picture of him hanging in City Hall which I wanted to see; he and several children, his wife, mother-in-law, and grandmother-in-law are also all buried in the city cemetery. Not to mention a gorgeous temple was just dedicated there and I wanted to see it! But all of this had completely slipped from my mind over the last several months until a few weeks ago when the strongest impression came that I should make an effort to go ASAP.

So I invited several mission friends (the only people still in Provo that I know) to take a day trip with me to Brigham City. Only one, Allison Beauchamp, came with me. We had a delightful drive up I-15, a delicious lunch at a local joint, a pit-stop in the County building, a perusal around City Hall, some moments of pure exploration, and a hike through the cemetery. And that's when it happened.

After a brief visit to the sexton's office to get a map of where my family's plots were located, we were able to find the several headstones in only a few minutes. As I was walking around taking pictures and studying each of the names of people I've only read about, I hear Allison say what possibly only happens in the small LDS world we live in: "That's weird. I have a Roxcy Keller in my family, too. Huh." So after exchanging all the information I know about Roxcy Keller (the grandmother-in-law of Thomas Sr), she was pretty sure it was the same woman in her family line. A quick phone call to her father confirmed our suspicions and filled in some of the missing gaps of knowledge that we'd both had. 

We are fifth cousins! Or something like that... but I feel like after 3rd cousins, the number part doesn't really matter. haha In fact, the significance felt more like I'd just found my long lost sister. I come from Roxcy Keller's daughter Nancy, whose daughter Roxcy married Thomas Sr. However, Allison is descended from Roxcy Keller's daughter Lusina. It really felt like Nancy and Lusina had been plotting this little discovery of ours for quite some time, and I'm so glad they did! I love knowing that sisters can still collaborate efforts from the Spirit World. ;)

Next we headed to the temple (which is GORGEOUS by the way) where we did initiatories for some of my family names I'd been working on. I found a Keller in the stack, so I gave it to Allison. And then the rest were just because they were on top. There were 7 sisters and then 3 other individuals. I couldn't remember which side of my family the names came from, but when I got home I checked. You probably won't be surprised to learn that the names were from the family line that Allison and I share. Seriously! Sometimes God is just so cool. And He's ALWAYS abundantly kind and merciful. 

The whole trip, the whole day just seemed so serendipitous that it couldn't have been a coincidence. I'm not sure if there will end up being a greater purpose in the whole familial discovery or our Brigham City adventure, but I do know that I was prompted to go for a reason. And like Joseph Smith I believe that, "Coincidences are just miracles in which God wishes to remain anonymous."

Personal Proverbs

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

I have been trying to follow this counsel more consciously over the last few weeks, and the tender mercies keep pouring in. I still mostly feel like I'm floating and flittering about, but my day-to-day life has more purpose, which has been much more fulfilling. I know I'm moving to England in September, but my summer plans have still remained entirely up in the air... which has maintained a slightly elevated level of "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!"

So I've been fasting and praying to be directed in my summer plans, as well as in daily service opportunities. And it seems that the more I pay attention to promptings of the Spirit, the more I find myself being in the right place at the right time to help someone. I could ramble on with several examples, but I'll just share the most recent two.

1) After picking up a few job applications yesterday I felt prompted to go to Pizza Hut for dinner. Since I rarely eat out and can't even remember the last time I went to Pizza Hut, that seemed very odd and I didn't want to. But the prompting came again, so I went. And while I was waiting for my overpriced pizza rolls, a man came in to order and he only spoke Spanish. Of course none of the employees spoke Spanish,  so I spoke up and offered to help. The only hiccough was that I didn't know the word for "crust"... haha. I know that Roberto probably could've managed with gesturing and the few English words he knew even if I weren't there, but I'm still grateful that I listened to the Spirit and that I was able to offer my assistance.

2) I REALLY need a job (according to me and my starving bank account). But for some reason, God appears to disagree, at least for the time being. This morning as I was filling out those new job applications, I got the feeling that I needed to wait a couple days to turn them in, so I dated everything for tomorrow. Well, tonight I got a call from my brother asking if I would be willing and able to go to Denver and help him and his family out for a bit when his wife has the twins that she's been a surrogate for (a whole separate blogpost...haha). She isn't due til July, so I was surprised when he told me that there is a slight issue with one of the babies and they will be taking them before 5 June. After doing some research, I've found that I can get there for only $30! So I guess I'll be putting off that whole job thing at least a while longer yet. But I feel good about this new development, and it seems clear that this is the right thing for me to be doing now.

A quote from President Monson describes best how I've been feeling lately: "I've always said that if the Lord has an errand to be run, I want Him to know that [Dana Blackburn] will run that errand for Him." 

It's been most rewarding feeling that come to fruition over the last few weeks. I have no idea why all my time has been occupied by serving others recently, but I am so very grateful it has! My motto growing up was always "Service is the key to happiness," and that still holds true for me. I am especially aware that this time next year when I'm feeling homesick that I will look back on this time with great fondness. I don't know if I'll ever again be able to drop everything to help a family member or friend when the need arises. But as I told my brother tonight, "What else is an unemployed sister for?" 

So for now I guess I'll be content to go where the wind blows, which actually means where the Spirit whispers...