Sunderland

Last month we had a preview performance of Lamb of God up in Sunderland (about 4+ hours northeast of Brum, on the east coast of the country). We were hosted by members of the stake, and it couldn't have been a lovelier or more uplifting weekend. I came back with my cup full to the brim. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt the Spirit so strongly and so consistently over multiple days. It was a fantastic unifying experience for all the choir members who were able to go. I'm still thinking about it, that's how good it was!

On the Saturday morning we had a couple hours to visit a lighthouse and walk along the beach. When we got there it looked like it was going to rain, but then the clouds parted and the sun came out. It was still REALLY windy and cold, but sunshine is a treasured highlight to any day that it touches here. Seriously. I'm not being dramatic.

Lincoln

On Saturday my friend Spencer and I went on an adventure to Lincoln, which is about 3 hours northeast of Birmingham. I have been wanting to go to Lincoln since before I moved here, because I have lots of family history from that area. Everyone I've spoken with here has never been to Lincoln, And now having been, I can't understand why ever not! So I've included some pics to prove just how lovely a place it really is.

We only had a few hours to explore and most of my FH sites  are difficult to get to without a car, so we just stayed in town. And I'm gad we did. We had a blast exploring the Castle Grounds, Cathedral (3rd largest in England), archaeology museum and LOTS of antique shops.

We took it slow because of my leg, but it was almost better that way. We just enjoyed being there and soaking up the sunshine and seeing some ridiculous and gorgeous things along the way. It was a delightful day, even with some transportation mishaps. And I can't wait to do it again!

An old church turned coffee shop next to the train station

 East entrance to the Castle Grounds

This building now serves as the Lincolnshire courthouse
No filter. Seriously.

Lincoln Cathedral

No idea what this little building was for, but it is
just chilling on the grounds next to the Cathedral.

Really wish we could've checked out that Balcony!

Such a gorgeous Cathedral. And a beautiful day. The combination was perfect. 

On our way back through town we stopped at the WWI & II Memorial. I had started to walk away, but Spencer felt prompted to go look at the names and he found both of our last names on there. What are the odds?! Every single time I've been on a FH trip like this, I've had something cool like this happen, so I shouldn't be surprised. BUT STILL. HOW FUN!

Brayford Pool, one of the endpoints of a major waterway through the city. And a breathtaking view.

And it wouldn't be a real getaway if we didn't run into the LDS missionaries... we found them walking along here.

Before catching the train back to Brum we ate a delicious dinner at this Wagamamas, with a great view of Brayford Pool. It was the perfect way to end such an incredible day.  

Dissertation COMPLETED.

For the last four months, I have dedicated a substantial amount of time researching and writing my dissertation. And a week and a half ago I FINALLY submitted it! That means my Master's Degree course is officially complete and I will graduate in July (*assuming I pass, of course...).

My research has been an incredible journey, and it took me down the most unexpected paths. I'm so very grateful for all the wonderful people I met along the way, and for my constant cheer squad that wouldn't let me quit.

So, what did I write about, you ask? The Armenian Genocide.

*expectant blank stare*...

More specifically, I wrote about the longterm legacy of the genocide and its commemoration on descendants of survivors one hundred years later...

*sound of crickets* ...

Let me guess. I lost you at 'Armenian Genocide', right? You've never heard of the Armenian Genocide, have you? Well there are a few reasons why that is, and most of them are political... and I'm not going to bore you with them here. Maybe when I have more time I'll actually write a post with some sections from my dissertation and how it ties in to the lives of non-Armenians, and what I've learned about myself in the process. But this is not that post. Until then, look up the Armenian Genocide and read a bit about it. And if any of you are interested in reading my dissertation, comment or email me and I'll send you a copy. :)

London Churches

While doing my dissertation research, I had to go to London a couple times. In between interviews and presentations, I visited several churches. And I loved every minute!

Coptic Church in Kensington

St. Sarkis Armenian Apostolic Church, Kensington

 

Genocide Memorial at St. Sarkis

Guild Church of St. Mary Aldermary
The original was destroyed in the Great Fire, but it was rebuilt in 1679-82.
I had some ancestors who attended this church, so I was sad to see it had been turned into a cafe.
But at least the building still exists!

St Mary-le-Bow
The term 'Cockney' referred to anyone who grew up within the sound of its bells.
It is just across from St. Mary Aldermary, but most of my ancestors in London attended here. 

St. Paul's Cathedral
Absolutely STUNNING inside! I was able to go in for the last 15 min of the Cathedral Choir's Evensong service. One of the songs they sang was The Lord's Prayer, and it took my breath away. It was a really beautiful moment and a much needed tender mercy for me. Hopefully next time I'm in London I'll be able to go for an entire service.

London Temple

It's been a LONG time since I've actually updated my blog with all my adventures. So here are some smaller posts and pics to help play catch up.

I finally got to go to the London Temple in January with a friend and her aunt. It was different from what I expected on the inside, but the grounds were just as lovely as everyone has said.

Because of Him. Because He Lives.

The last couple years, the LDS church has made some really incredible Easter videos that I absolutely love. They capture not only the essence of the Easter season, but really why I Am a Mormon.

Because of Him.

Because He Lives.

I have HOPE.

It Isn't a Sin to Be Weak

This is one of the best church magazine articles I've read in a very long time:

'It Isn't a Sin to Be Weak' by Wendy Ulrich

I wish everyone knew and understood these principles, because knowing and understanding it myself has revolutionized my testimony of the Gospel and my relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ.

So READ IT. Ponder it. Pray about it. Practice it. And learn for yourself these eternal truths.

"Lord, Is it I?"

This morning I studied another of President Uchtdorf's talks from the October 2014 General Conference. This one was given in Priesthood session, but it is applicable to everyone. And it invited me to continue the self-introspection that I've been engaged in the past week.

For a multitude of reasons that I don't fully understand, I've been feeling a lot more sensitive lately to the insensitivities of others. And at the end of the day, I'm more upset with myself for letting their words or actions get to me than I am about what they did in the first place. I grew up with 3 brothers. I'm supposed to have a thicker skin than this! So WHAT is my problem? I don't know.

But I DO know that God loves me and He is inviting me to take this opportunity to examine my own life and ask, "Lord, Is it I?"

...To which the answer will almost always be "Yes." There is always a better way than my way.

President Uchtdorf said:

"None of us likes to admit when we are drifting off the right course. Often we try to avoid looking deeply into our souls and confronting our weaknesses, limitations, and fears. Consequently, when we do examine our lives, we look through the filter of biases, excuses, and stories we tell ourselves in order to justify unworthy thoughts and actions.
But being able to see ourselves clearly is essential to our spiritual growth and well-being. If our weaknesses and shortcomings remain obscured in the shadows, then the redeeming power of the Savior cannot heal them and make them strengths. Ironically, our blindness toward our human weaknesses will also make us blind to the divine potential that our Father yearns to nurture within each of us. 

So how can we shine the pure light of God’s truth into our souls and see ourselves as He sees us?

May I suggest that the holy scriptures and the talks given at general conference are an effective mirror we can hold up for self-examination. 

As you hear or read the words of the ancient and modern prophets, refrain from thinking about how the words apply to someone else and ask the simple question: “Lord, is it I?” 

We must approach our Eternal Father with broken hearts and teachable minds. We must be willing to learn and to change. And, oh, how much we gain by committing to live the life our Heavenly Father intends for us. 

Those who do not wish to learn and change probably will not and most likely will begin to wonder whether the Church has anything to offer them. 

But those who want to improve and progress, those who learn of the Savior and desire to be like Him, those who humble themselves as a little child and seek to bring their thoughts and actions into harmony with our Father in Heaven—they will experience the miracle of the Savior’s Atonement. They will surely feel God’s resplendent Spirit. They will taste the indescribable joy that is the fruit of a meek and humble heart. They will be blessed with the desire and discipline to become true disciples of Jesus Christ.

Everything he says here is completely true! I've been reading the book Letters to a Young Mormon by Adam S. Miller, and he says something similar, but in a way that really enlightened my understanding of these truths. The following passages are taken from the letter about 'Sin':

"God's work in your life is bigger than the story you'd like that life to tell. His life is bigger than your plans, goals, or fears. To save your life, you'll have to lay down your stories and, minute by minute, day by day, give your life back to him. Preferring your stories to his life is sin." (p.17)

"Life is full of stories, but life is not a story. God doesn't love your story, he loves you." (p.18)

"Like most people, you'll lavish attention on this story until, almost unwittingly, it becomes your blueprint for how things ought to be. As you persist in measuring life against it, this Franken-bible of the self will become a substitute for God, an idol. This is sin. And this idolatrous story is all the more ironic when, as a true believer, you religiously assign God a starring role in your story as the one who, with some cajoling and obedience, can make things go the way you've plotted. But faith isn't about getting God to play a more and more central part in your story. Faith is about sacrificing your story on his altar." (p.19)

"Jesus is not asking you to tell a better story or live your story more successfully, he's asking you to lose that story. 'Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it' (Matthew 10:39 NRSV). Hell is when your story succeeds, not when it fails. Your suffocating story is the problem, not the solution. Surrender it and find your life. ...Let his life manifest itself in yours rather than trying to impose your story on the life he gives." (p.21)

"Keeping the law doesn't earn you heavenly merits and breaking the law doesn't earn you hellish demerits. Both merits and demerits are about you. The purpose of the law is to point you away from yourself, free you from the self-obsessed burden of your own story, and center you on Christ. You don't need to generate merit in order to be saved you need instead to come unto Christ and 'rely wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save' (2 Nephi 31:19). The law points wholly to Christ and his grace. Keeping the law is the work of relying on Christ's merit, not the work of generating your own. This is still hard work, but it is work of an *entirely different kind*." (p.22)

I'm still trying to come to grips with what exactly my story is so that I can more fully sacrifice it to make room for the much bigger life Heavenly Father has planned for me. But the best way I can figure that out right now is by heeding President Uchtdorf's counsel and ask, "Lord, is it I?"

One way or another, it most definitely IS ME who needs to change. As Brother Miller states, this is hard work, but only because I make it hard. Moroni testified,

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. 

"And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot." (Moroni 10:32-33) 

I know that Christ's grace really IS sufficient for me. And I'm practicing relying wholly upon Him and His grace. If nothing else, this last week has reminded me to focus more upon this practice so that I can sacrifice my story and live the life He has for me.

What is 'bae'?

On a more ridiculous note, a few days ago I asked my roommates what 'bae' means, because I keep seeing it on social media. One of them showed me this hilarious video to answer my question. Last night one of my friends asked me the very same question, to which I responded by also showing him the video.

Some things are too silly and absurd to understand, so you just have to make fun of it. And Flula does a great job at doing just that. So in case any of you have wondered what this whole 'bae' thing is all about, enjoy!

Living the Gospel Joyful

This morning in my personal study I re-read President Uchtdorf's talk from the last General Women's Meeting, Living the Gospel Joyful. I was really touched by several things he said, but there were a couple things that seemed to be timely counsel for me today.

"Part of our challenge is, I think, that we imagine that God has all of His blessings locked in a huge cloud up in heaven, refusing to give them to us unless we comply with some strict, paternalistic requirements He has set up. But the commandments aren’t like that at all. In reality, Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us. It is our fear, doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us. His commandments are the loving instructions and the divine help for us to close the umbrella so we can receive the shower of heavenly blessings."

**I do this a lot. I made a real effort to start working on it after conference, but as usually happens over the months I lost focus and just started to feel wet and cold so I yanked that umbrella right back out again. I was grateful to be reminded of it this morning because I feel as if Heavenly Father is trying to send me a lot of beautiful blessings right now but I need to take that step of faith and close my umbrella again!

"My dear sisters in the gospel, whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know: You are loved. You are dear to your heavenly parents. The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you. 

"And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own. He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always! 

"Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe? 

"He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become. More than you could ever imagine, He wants you to achieve your destiny—to return to your heavenly home in honor."

**As I've said before, this is the one eternal truth that I've never doubted and have always been able to cling to in any darkness. But there's something especially powerful about a prophet and apostle of God reaffirming my faith in God's love that helps me feel it to my core, rather than just believing or even knowing. And that is most definitely a welcome Tender Mercy today and everyday.